1 Samuel 16:1-7; 1 Kings 5:1-12; John 15:15

Are you attractive? I'm not referring to external beauty nor facial features. I'm asking if you are attractive—magnetic, winsome, charming, friendly. Listen to Proverbs 18:24a (KJV):

A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.

Do you see the point of the proverb? To have friends we must be friendly. Friendliness is a matter of being someone...more than it is doing something.

A prerequisite to friendliness is a positive, healthy self-image. Ephesians 5:29 suggests this fact in a context dealing with a man's love for his wife.

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church. (Read also Romans 12:3.)

A healthy attitude toward ourselves is necessary before there can be a healthy attitude toward others...which attracts them as friends. To encourage you toward that vital objective, let me remind you of three simple, yet wonderful facts:

  1. God originally designed and "prescribed" you (Psalm 139:13-17)
  2. God is not through—He hasn't completed His work in you (Romans 8:29; Ephesians 2:10) 

  3. The real you—that which God develops—is within you (1 Samuel 16:7)

Far more than your outward size, shape, features, and dress, your inner qualities are the things that make you attractive and friendly. First Peter 3:1-6 makes this abundantly clear.

So—rather than feeling obligated to "glad hand" everyone you see at church and work up an outward appearance of friendliness, take a long look at the inner you, the real you. Call to mind those qualities He has developed within you. Find encouragement in the fact that you have a unique combination of inner qualities found in no one else—so you have a contribution to make in just being yourself!

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Excerpted from Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life, Copyright 1983, 1994, 2007 by Charles R. Swindoll Inc. (Zondervan Publishing House). All rights reserved worldwide. Used by Permission.