TobyMac opens up in a video interview about the continual grief he feels after his oldest son passed away, in hopes that his testimony might help others in a similar situation.
"To me, grief comes in waves. Some days it hits you really hard and other days, well, I can't say it's ever stayed off of me. But I can say it hasn't beat me up some days."
TobyMac recently opened up in a video interview with 99.1 JOY FM in the U.S, about the grief he feels after his oldest son Truett died at 21-years-old.
"The truth is, I didn't know grief. I felt like everything was beautiful and perfect until the last few years."
The Christian singer's son died in their home in Nashville, TN on Oct. 23, 2019, from an accidental drug overdose.
"When we lost Truett, I met grief in the fiercest way."
During the video, TobyMac recalls spending time with a father in Texas who had lost his own son to a car accident. TobyMac and this man went golfing before Truett passed away, and the man shared his story with the singer/songwriter.
"He told me that when you go through something hard, you have to grab onto something you can trust. His thing was, to grab onto a promise of God. He said, be really sure you grab onto something that God really promised us because when we're in the darkest valley, we might grab onto something that God didn't promise us."
The man said it was important for TobyMac to remember that God never said we wouldn't go through pain, trials, or loss.
"God doesn't always take away the cold. But He promises that He'll be right there with us. That's what I held onto. And I found Him there, or He found me there."
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TobyMac says he thinks about eternity more, because of the people he's lost.
"I don't know if I'll ever laugh as deeply. I don't know if I'll ever smile as big, but I can smile. I don't know if it'll ever be, until eternity. I spoke about eternity before but I don't know if I ever thought about it as deeply."
The same picture comes to mind when TobyMac considers his son up in heaven.
"I don't know if I can say this without crying. I see him, saying, 'Dad if you could only see what I see right now.' It's not necessarily what heaven looks like, but how this whole thing works."
For others grieving, TobyMac says that while it's different for everyone, counselling is a gift if people can do it. He also shares that community is key.
TobyMac says his family, as well as his fans, surrounded him in his time of grief. "We felt surrounded by love, through the deepest, darkest, hardest thing we've ever experienced. To me, that's what the body of Christ should look like."